Hey, seems like the last time I updated this was...never mind that, just know that its very long ago ok, and don't start preaching why I didn't update, cause I am one lazy bum and thats a very good excuse if you ask me. Of course, as usual, bring me the cup of blood, yes, that red one, what other colour does blood looks like? Oh, of course, insects DO bleed but who would want their blood? Yes, bugs blood ain't red, just in case you guys thought its red just because when you swat a mosquito, the liquid is red BUT remember, THOSE LIQUID ARE YOURS! Those pesky insects that you swat everyday are bleeding YOUR blood for YOU! Don't SWAT THEM, YOU ARE LOSING YOUR PRECIOUS BLOOD THROUGH THEM! Since you already lost them, let the mosquitoes live with the blood inside them, use pesticides to kill them or deprive them of oxygen to keep the blood inside them. Yes, thats right, I did say don't swat them but I didn't say you can't torture them since they sucked your blood, since those precious blood pumping through the body ARE for me, UNDERSTAND! NO pesky insects are gonna steal those blood from me! OK?
OK, enough of this, just bring me that cup. (TAking a sip) Ah...thats good...lets see, now where to begin...(looking into the dark night through the window, the moon shining in the dark skies, the wind howling and the trees rustled with uneasiness, yes, its as though they are afraid of something, and of course, there seems to be only me around so WHO OTHER THAN ME! Oh please ignore my humble servants around me, they ain't alive anyway) Hmmm...dear audience for the night, how about the beginning? The beginning of your nightmares? (Oh audience, don't stare there at me now, all shivering from fear, I am not so fearsome afterall, I am the same age as you guys, at least in appearance, and I am not going to do anything to you, except take out some precious red liquid that seems in excess, maybe 5 litres from each of you is enough, but don't complain I didn't take more, afterall, I am NOT that greedy) Ok now, the beginning of your nightmare...wait...that hasn't happened yet, so let me think of something esle to talk about...(stood up and paced around the room, the floors creaked with fear with each step I took, the rats all hid inside their holes for the night. Well, after what happened to their cousin that I "invited" last night, I don't blame them. Poor Mr. Rat, your bravery for attempting to steal my food was worthy of a praise, but I guess you can't hear it very well from the you are now...or make it, the two places you are now...) Dear audience, if there are kids around you, please cover their ears and blindfold them, of course, if you like, cause what I am going to talk about is something not for the kids, and of course, if you find your hands and blindfold not enough to cut them from the story I am going to feed to you guys, please use the necessary tools I have provided for your convience, afterall, I am a gentleman and its part of my service to provide tools that my audience might need. Be it a pin, a small knife, or a large chopper, I have all of those prepared for your convience in preventing your kids from witnessing these adult rated materials. After all, see no evil, hear no evil is good for kids to prevent them from turning evil. Oh, please don't thank me, I am a gentleman afterall, its my pleasure to help my audience. (Oh, the white, pale faces around me, the fear in your eyes, the shivering, please, don't thank me so obviously, I know you guys are grateful but there isn't any need to show it to me) Hmm...seems like you guys prefer your kids to listen to speech I am about to give even though it might affect how they grow up to become in the future, but I don't blame you guys. Afterall, to you guys, the speech made by the greatest vampire of all time, who conincidentally happens to me, must be beneficial for your kids, even though its only for adults. I am flattered, thank you very much.
Now please keep quiet my dear audience, for the story I am about to reveal is a real epic of proportion, a story that hasn't being spread around the human world even after the numerous audience that I have spread to, a story that is rumored that no one has ever lived to tell after hearing it. Oh, please don't feel afraid, its just a rumour, even though doesn't mean its false. (Please don't give me that look, the shivering lips and the nervous eyes just makes me feel so honoured to give out this story, even after the numerous audience, I still can't take that look) This story is about a boy, a boy who is like any other boys, well, at least he looks like any other boy... (To be continued...)
OK, enough of this, just bring me that cup. (TAking a sip) Ah...thats good...lets see, now where to begin...(looking into the dark night through the window, the moon shining in the dark skies, the wind howling and the trees rustled with uneasiness, yes, its as though they are afraid of something, and of course, there seems to be only me around so WHO OTHER THAN ME! Oh please ignore my humble servants around me, they ain't alive anyway) Hmmm...dear audience for the night, how about the beginning? The beginning of your nightmares? (Oh audience, don't stare there at me now, all shivering from fear, I am not so fearsome afterall, I am the same age as you guys, at least in appearance, and I am not going to do anything to you, except take out some precious red liquid that seems in excess, maybe 5 litres from each of you is enough, but don't complain I didn't take more, afterall, I am NOT that greedy) Ok now, the beginning of your nightmare...wait...that hasn't happened yet, so let me think of something esle to talk about...(stood up and paced around the room, the floors creaked with fear with each step I took, the rats all hid inside their holes for the night. Well, after what happened to their cousin that I "invited" last night, I don't blame them. Poor Mr. Rat, your bravery for attempting to steal my food was worthy of a praise, but I guess you can't hear it very well from the you are now...or make it, the two places you are now...) Dear audience, if there are kids around you, please cover their ears and blindfold them, of course, if you like, cause what I am going to talk about is something not for the kids, and of course, if you find your hands and blindfold not enough to cut them from the story I am going to feed to you guys, please use the necessary tools I have provided for your convience, afterall, I am a gentleman and its part of my service to provide tools that my audience might need. Be it a pin, a small knife, or a large chopper, I have all of those prepared for your convience in preventing your kids from witnessing these adult rated materials. After all, see no evil, hear no evil is good for kids to prevent them from turning evil. Oh, please don't thank me, I am a gentleman afterall, its my pleasure to help my audience. (Oh, the white, pale faces around me, the fear in your eyes, the shivering, please, don't thank me so obviously, I know you guys are grateful but there isn't any need to show it to me) Hmm...seems like you guys prefer your kids to listen to speech I am about to give even though it might affect how they grow up to become in the future, but I don't blame you guys. Afterall, to you guys, the speech made by the greatest vampire of all time, who conincidentally happens to me, must be beneficial for your kids, even though its only for adults. I am flattered, thank you very much.
Now please keep quiet my dear audience, for the story I am about to reveal is a real epic of proportion, a story that hasn't being spread around the human world even after the numerous audience that I have spread to, a story that is rumored that no one has ever lived to tell after hearing it. Oh, please don't feel afraid, its just a rumour, even though doesn't mean its false. (Please don't give me that look, the shivering lips and the nervous eyes just makes me feel so honoured to give out this story, even after the numerous audience, I still can't take that look) This story is about a boy, a boy who is like any other boys, well, at least he looks like any other boy... (To be continued...)

0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home