As time goes by, I realise that my heart is going very very cold... I think I am still the same person a few years ago... Which means I have not grow up but hey, if growing up means to be deceptive and play hyprocritics with each other mind, I think I will prefer not to grow up in my thoughts processing and remain where I am... sure call me lagger with times or what, but I don't wanna be the devious adult that I hate so much... but even as I say this, I feel myself turning to the one cold beast... yes, my thoughts processing have not changed but I can't seem to bother to help people around me anymore... maybe its because I am afraid of getting too close to people around me... thats why most of the friends I have who I confide in are those who have being with me for years to knows who I am really like and those who I find that they are really the nice guys they are... oh, btw, I don't think I confide a lot anyway cause most of the problems I have I prefer to keep it down in my heart and torture myself with it... I think I enjoy being torturing myself a lot cause thats when I feel human... PERVERT! Yeah, I know, maybe I am one. One perverted vampire. Maybe thats why I feel like I am turning more into a hypocritic and attempt show one side of me while hiding the darker side of me... yes, world domination have always being my darker side that I never shared with anyone and yes, it is still all talk and no plan yet... MORON! SLACKER! INCOMPETENT FOOL! DISILLUSIONED! Yes, I think people will be thinking those things about me so I save you guys the trouble... don't think about me too much though, I will feel embrassed cause those sounds like compliments to me... an optimistic way of thinking people might add! Oh, I think people in the Mental insitutions might need me to work there... I can provide some good quality counselling. Although I might feel like strangling the person and shooting the person when they call me all these, please be ensured that I will offer you a smile or just some expressionless face while imagining all these scenes in my head. Yes, they will only occur in my head so please feel free to call me all these, I won't mind and I think I enjoy the attention but please don't go out alone at night. You will never know what 'accidents' might happen. Oh and being a cold blooded beast seems like a better idea than turning into a devious adults, maybe I should live in the jungle like Tarzan but would I find Jane, the gorilla in the jungle?