2 months of inactivity...just to let you guys know...I am dead(?) like always...

Who am I? What am I? What will I be in the future? Is there a future?

A sense of voidness fills the the space of the heart that is gone... gone on a vacation or gone for good that it will never know...

It is a bad habit...feelings suppressed that resulted in an uncaring attitude...part of the process of getting older?

Times that I can't remember, who is the me 10 years ago and who is the me now? What will that past say to me? The past that haunts me or the past that saves me?

After hundreds of times of soul searching, I am still in a state of being lost... is there a soul in the first place I wonder which can be found or is the soul a creation of mine that I am supposed to materialize during my search?

If every humans have a reason to exist, what is the reason for my very existence? The fear that accompanies is the one day where I will lose even the lost self that currently resides in this physical existence...

The physical existence that might be worthless in comparison to the universe surrounding it... but always a reason for its very existence...that is, to ponder on its very existence....

Random thoughts these are, are not meant to confuse, neither to enlighten...but they exist cause they need to without a will of their own...


My dream...my vision...my tomorrow...slowly eaten up by forces I can't control...