I just suddenly felt like posting something... the last time I posted was in march...feels like ages ago although it is just about 2 months... Is is because time seemed to pass by slowly during the last few months? But then again, the last 2 months to the me now feels like an illusion... a sense that it never happened and I begin questioning myself whether the last few months whether I really experienced what happened or did it all happen where I am in a dream like state... Peace has that effect on a person... to be living a peaceful country seems to create a sense of virtual reality... of course, the newspaper have all the realities of other countries happening and we all know about it but the sense of reality doesn't seem to connect... I do feel agitated by the inhuman activities that are carried out by militants, terrorist, the military as well as the so called 'justice' system of the world but then it all just happened in just a fleeting moment and then its gone. The feeling that just come and go in an instant and I wonder whether I really did feel these feelings. Then again, I wonder what is justice in this world when all the people who carry out actions in the name of justice seems to do more harm than good...the law of society that is created is created by those in power and thus wouldn't be concerned about the being poor and going hungry but rather about their safety... so I wonder whether it is correct to prosecute the poor for stealing when all they are doing is stealing to survive...then again, the capitalistic world seems to encourage this never ending cycle and I wonder why is there a gap in income for the people working in different position when they are all contributing equally to society... why do some people earn millions per year while some are living by with thousands or even less than that. Why do human create this social class differentiation and I wonder if it will ever go away.
Again, I am doing all these thinking in a peaceful environment where I don't have to worry about being shot at or worry about the lack of food... Then I think that most of the books or journals are written by academics because they don't have to worry about these trival matters that might not be trival to the majority of the people. Being a third person and just observing the situation is possible because of the lack of need to fight for the basic neccessities in life... maybe this is only what I feel and maybe there are alternatives but who gets to read all these academical papers are people who have the means so in the end, do academics really help the situation or are they just providing a small lens for the people who are reading the account. maybe I will never know, maybe I am ignorant or maybe I am just plain stupid to think about such issues...
Recently, I have been getting the giddy spells that maybe I am falling in love... But I realise something important too, that I am falling in love for the wrong reason... then I begin questioning the reality of love and emotions. Since emotions happen in an instant, are they real or are they just creations and who gave them to me? Who is responsible for the pounding of my heart? The sudden rush of blood in my vein... As I watch shows, I realise that the characters emotions are given by the creators so who gave me these emotions and why do they disappear instantly? Am I like a character in the TV show too, where I don't realise that I am actually following a script that I have no control over? Where everybody too is in this script who believe that they have a will but actually don't cause all these are planned by the script writers? Maybe having free time have this effect on me... I begin thinking strange stuffs and maybe one day I might try writing a script...
As I am thinking, I realise that falling in love is part of a people own will even if they don't realise it... it is controllable and not as uncontrollable as many people seem to believe, maybe the reason why many people feel it cannot be controlled cause they don't want to... But what is this feeling of pain in the heart that I feel when I am typing this... Maybe my body wants to feel alive and thats why it is creating all these emotions so maybe I am been controlled by my body which has a will of its own... Realising all these stuffs going on in my head, I realise that maybe I will not be able to integrate into the world for these things are not common sense but rather my own selfish thoughts... But maybe its nature to be selfish... I am afterall, looking for a way to be more human...
Again, I am doing all these thinking in a peaceful environment where I don't have to worry about being shot at or worry about the lack of food... Then I think that most of the books or journals are written by academics because they don't have to worry about these trival matters that might not be trival to the majority of the people. Being a third person and just observing the situation is possible because of the lack of need to fight for the basic neccessities in life... maybe this is only what I feel and maybe there are alternatives but who gets to read all these academical papers are people who have the means so in the end, do academics really help the situation or are they just providing a small lens for the people who are reading the account. maybe I will never know, maybe I am ignorant or maybe I am just plain stupid to think about such issues...
Recently, I have been getting the giddy spells that maybe I am falling in love... But I realise something important too, that I am falling in love for the wrong reason... then I begin questioning the reality of love and emotions. Since emotions happen in an instant, are they real or are they just creations and who gave them to me? Who is responsible for the pounding of my heart? The sudden rush of blood in my vein... As I watch shows, I realise that the characters emotions are given by the creators so who gave me these emotions and why do they disappear instantly? Am I like a character in the TV show too, where I don't realise that I am actually following a script that I have no control over? Where everybody too is in this script who believe that they have a will but actually don't cause all these are planned by the script writers? Maybe having free time have this effect on me... I begin thinking strange stuffs and maybe one day I might try writing a script...
As I am thinking, I realise that falling in love is part of a people own will even if they don't realise it... it is controllable and not as uncontrollable as many people seem to believe, maybe the reason why many people feel it cannot be controlled cause they don't want to... But what is this feeling of pain in the heart that I feel when I am typing this... Maybe my body wants to feel alive and thats why it is creating all these emotions so maybe I am been controlled by my body which has a will of its own... Realising all these stuffs going on in my head, I realise that maybe I will not be able to integrate into the world for these things are not common sense but rather my own selfish thoughts... But maybe its nature to be selfish... I am afterall, looking for a way to be more human...
